


promise me you'll always be a friend

by EscapingReality51



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, alternate universe - fake dating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 10:07:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10683108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EscapingReality51/pseuds/EscapingReality51
Summary: Fake Dating AUTitle is taken from Ed Sheeran - One





	promise me you'll always be a friend

Robert was not one for relationships, romantic or platonic. 

The romantic relationships he had had all ended with heartbreak for the other party; he had never really met someone he had been able to stick with - getting bored, pretending to be someone he wasn’t to please another person, never made him want to stay. To be perfectly honest, he never cared for the other people enough to care when he hurt them, so he found no problem in hurting them.

The friendships he had were either entirely superficial, business friendships that in fact were mostly cultivated because he saw them every day, or friendships that were close enough to be family. 

In fact, some of them were family. Victoria, his sister, was also his best friend. Her husband, Adam, was a good laugh, and they were practically brothers although they didn’t spend much time alone. And finally, Aaron, Adam’s best friend roped into being friends with Robert through marriage, and who Robert found was just the sort of person he could stand to be around for longer periods of time. 

These three people had, for a reason Robert never truly understood, put up with him for several years, even though he knew he could be a right twat.

Currently, Robert was standing at the bar of their local pub, next to Aaron, who already had his drink.

“Busy week at the garage?” Robert asked, and Aaron shrugged, taking a sip of his pint.

“Nah, had a bloke come in with a fancy Bentley for a quick repair, was a beauty, though,” Aaron replied, and Robert’s phone buzzed in his pocket.

“Oh no,” Robert said as he looked at his phone. “Not another one of these…”

“What?” Aaron asked.

“My parents want me to come along to Lawrence White’s party, networking mixer for the business, and he’s a right pain.” 

“Yeah, but you go to one of those once every six months, why is this one different?” Aaron asked, looking up at Robert from his seat at the bar of the pub.

“They’re still disappointed in me for my break-up with Anna a couple of months ago,” Robert sighed, “they both really liked her and think it’s about time I got married.” 

Aaron guffawed just as he was taking a sip of his pint, and Robert shoved him on the shoulder. 

“You? Settle down? She was so boring!” Aaron said and Robert smiled at him.

“I don’t know why I stayed with her for so long to be honest,” Robert said. The bartender handed him a pint, which he promptly paid for, and he sat down next to Aaron. They were waiting for Vic and Adam, who were late, as per usual. 

“I don’t know why she stayed with you for so long, mate… you kept cheating on her!” Aaron joked and Robert gave him an arrogant smile.

“Not my fault people want to sleep with me,” he said and Aaron rolled his eyes.

“Not everyone does mate.” 

She had been good to him - too good to him - and he he knew he hadn’t treated her as well as he should have. Anna was the type of girl all parents loved; beautiful, smart, well-spoken, and kind, but Robert had gotten bored of her quickly, and instead of breaking up with her, and dealing with his parents disappointment, he had chosen to stay with her, and sleep with other people under her nose. Suffice it to say she hadn’t been pleased when she found out. 

“I don’t know, Dad liked her, and it was nice to have someone… but she just wasn’t right, felt like I had to hide who I was, if I’m honest.”

“What, didn’t she know you were bisexual?” 

“Yeah she did, but I don’t think she really understood, you know? Kept alluding that it was just a phase, or that I didn’t need it now that I was with her… which probably was why I slept with other people.” He took a sip of his beer, and licked the foam from his upper lip. 

“Good riddance, then,” Aaron said, pausing, “though you could’ve broken up with her without all the cheating.”

Robert gave him a sideways glance and saw the smirk on his face. 

“Probably could’ve, yeah…” he added, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “I’m not proud of it!” 

“I know,” Aaron grinned at him, “couldn’t help yourself, though.” 

“I guess not,” Robert replied, smiling. 

Robert looked at his watch, and Aaron sighed next to him.

“They are always late nowadays…” Aaron began, but Robert cut him off.

“Can we please not? I know they are trying for a baby, and I’m thrilled for them, but I don’t need a reminder of why my baby sister is late to meet us, alright?” 

Aaron laughed next to him, a clear laugh that Robert loved to hear. Being in Aaron’s company was so easy, relaxed, and without pretence.

“Alright, fair enough.” Aaron pulled his phone out of his pocket as it went off. “Adam’s just texted, says they are on their way, be here in 10.” 

Robert nodded slowly, when an idea struck him.

“Why don’t you come with me, to this thing?” 

“You what? The boring farming business community mixer?” Aaron retorted, and Robert smiled at him in what he hoped was a charming way.

“Free alcohol? Come on, I hate going alone, and my parents like you well enough, it’ll make the evening bearable.” 

Aaron shrugged, looking up at Robert with skeptical eyes. 

“I’ll think about it,” he finally said, “but if I find a bloke I’m leaving without you.” 

“Fine, though I don’t know who you’d meet to be honest.” 

Aaron sighed, and glared up at Robert.

“You’re not making this anymore appealing you know.”

“I know,” Robert said smugly, “come on, keep me company?” 

“Fine,” Aaron said, a small smile on his face. “I love to see you uncomfortable in front of your parents, it’ll be good entertainment.” 

  
  


Victoria and Adam had met at university and had immediately started dating. They were the type of couple everyone loved to hate; they adored each other and were sickeningly cute, and as they started becoming more serious, Robert had started warming up to Adam, and seeing more to Aaron. 

They had been friends for a few years now, Aaron smart enough to see through Robert’s bullshit and Robert comfortable enough to relax in his company. When Aaron had come out, a year into Vic and Adam’s relationship, Robert had been a tad surprised; no one expected the scruffy mechanic to be gay, and it hadn’t been easy for him. Robert had helped him, as best he could being an openly bisexual man, and they had become close friends, slowly, but steadily. 

Aaron had never shown interest, and by the time Robert knew there might be some, they were too close friends for him to risk it. Robert felt at home in Aaron’s company, and that, to him, meant he felt closer to him that he did most people. 

  
  


Robert lived in a small but nice flat, not too far from Vic and Adam’s. After a long day at work, he usually just went home and had some dinner in front of the telly. On this occasion, his food was interrupted by his phone buzzing.

“Hiya, love.” 

Robert’s mother, Sarah, had a penchant for calling at the most inconvenient times, but he loved her for it - she knew she could call him anytime of day, and he would never hesitate to pick up. 

“Hi, Mum, how are you?”

“I’m doing well, love, your father and I just had dinner and thought I would call my favourite son and hear how he’s doing,” she started, and Robert smiled.

“I’m alright Mum, just about to have dinner.” 

“Bit late, isn’t it?”

“Had a long day at the office, but it’s not too bad,” Robert replied, smiling at his mother’s concern.

“How are you feeling after the break-up, love? It’s been a while now, and we haven’t heard about you meeting anyone else...”

“I’m doing alright, happy to be on my own at the moment,” he added, sitting down on the sofa and looking at his food hungrily. 

“Well, don’t you want to meet someone, settle down? We thought maybe you wanted to meet someone at the mixer Lawrence is hosting next weekend… Your father and I were talking, and he mentioned that Lawrence has a daughter, you know, Chrissie?” 

Robert sighed. Chrissie was a piece of work; gorgeous, but pretentious, greedy, and entirely spoiled. Definitely not the type of person Robert wanted to start dating.

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea, Mum,” he began, and Sarah sighed.

“It was just an idea, it doesn’t hurt to say hello does it? I know you and your dad don’t exactly see eye to eye, but I just want you to be happy, you know that.” 

He did - Robert never doubted it. 

“I just don’t think I would hit it off with Chrissie.”

“Think about it?” Sarah added, and Robert pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. “Your dad and I just want to see you settled down…. I don’t mean to push you, but you are getting older, and if you’re coming along you might as well -” 

“I’m bringing someone, to the party,” Robert said quickly, and Sarah let out a happy yelp.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Tell me all about them - who is it?” 

“It’s,” he began, taking a deep breath. This wasn’t good. “It’s Aaron.” 

Sarah was silent on the other end. 

“Mum? You know Aaron? Scruffy? Surly? Bearded?” She let out a laugh on the other end.

“I thought the two of you would never get together, I’m so happy for you love!” she exclaimed, and Robert was completely surprised. 

“You what?” 

“I’ve said to your father for years that the two of you would be great together, I can’t wait to meet him!” 

“You’ve already met him Mum, he came to dinner at ours a month ago?” 

“I know, but I haven’t met him as your partner yet, oh I’m so pleased Robert.” 

Robert laughed out of disbelief. 

“Not sure how Dad’ll feel about this…” he started, but Sarah cut him off. 

“I’ll talk him around. He is proud of you, you know, no matter who you fall in love with.” 

Robert smiled at his mother’s words, not believing any of it. He and his father had never seen eye to eye, especially not on the question of his sexuality.

“Right, well, I’ll see you at the party, right?” 

“Right, take care love, talk soon.” 

He hung up the phone, and sighed.  _ Fuck. _

This was a complete mess.

 

Robert looked himself in the mirror one last time; he was wearing a dark grey suit over a light blue shirt with a patterned dark blue tie. He knew he looked good - the suit was recently tailored so it was still a snug fit, accentuating his body. Nothing wrong with looking his best. 

The doorbell rang, and he quickly went out to open it.

“Hiya,” Aaron said as he came in, hands in his suit pocket. He was wearing a black suit with a blue tie, almost exactly matching Robert’s. He looked great - well, he always did, Robert had eyes - but he was nervous, shuffling around uncomfortably in the livingroom of Robert’s flat.

“This alright for tonight?” he asked, and Robert looked up him at down, unable not to notice the curve of his arse in the suit, or the snug fit of his jacket. He looked him up and down, nodding.

“Good, yeah,” Robert cleared his throat, “you’ll fit right in with the other posh twats at this party.”

Aaron gave a weak smile, and looked at his own tie.

“You don’t have a different one, do you? I hate this one,” he said, fingering his tie absentmindedly.

“Think it’s fine yeah, and then we’ll match,” Robert joked, and Aaron rolled his eyes. 

“Now I’m definitely changing,” he went for Robert’s bedroom, but Robert stopped him.

“Wait,” he said as he grabbed Aaron’s arm, “this might work in our favour.” 

“What’re you talking about?” Aaron said, eyeing him suspiciously.

“Look, I might have done something a bit stupid,” Robert admitted, looking at the floor as he spoke. He should’ve told him; he should’ve told him the other day when they were having a pint, or Thursday the week before when they had dinner at Adam and Vic’s but he couldn’t bring himself to say the words. 

The thought of him and Aaron together had completely blind-sided him. They were friends and sure, Aaron was a good-looking bloke, but there was no reason why it could ever happen. Aaron had never showed any interest, and Robert certainly hadn’t tried anything - their friendship was worth too much to jeopardise it with a cheap fuck. So he had ignored it, somehow hoping that the later he told him, the easier it would be. He was wrong.

“What have you done?” Aaron asked, his voice dark.

“I think,” he started, sighing, “I think my mum thinks we’re together.”

Aaron quirked up an eyebrow, confused.

“Together, together,” Robert finished, and Aaron’s eyebrows shot up.

“No,” he started, and then he laughed. “You’re kidding me, yeah?” 

Robert shook his head, and Aaron’s laughing ceased immediately. 

“What did you say that for?” he exclaimed, hitting Robert on the arm a bit harder than he usually would. 

“She was going on about setting me up with Lawrence’s daughter, you know, the ghastly brunette? I mentioned I was bringing you, and she thought that meant as a date, and I don’t know…”

“So you didn’t tell her it wasn’t like that?”

“It gets them off my back! They’ve been a bit miffed ever since I broke up with Anna, and I know I should’ve told her it wasn’t like that, but now I don’t have to spend the evening fending off potential women my parents, more specifically my dad, think are nice.” 

Aaron’s fury was obvious, his head shaking as he walked around the livingroom. Aaron wasn’t one for lying, Robert knew that - it was one of the things he admired the most about him, his inherent honesty. 

“Mate, come on. You want me to be your fake boyfriend? In front of your parents?”

Robert shrugged, and put his hands in his pockets.

“I mean I only did it to get them off my back, and it’ll just be for tonight, I’ll call them next week and tell them it doesn’t work, alright? Plus, imagine the look on my dad’s face when I bring a bloke to one of his business parties.”

Aaron’s lips quirked up at his words.

“That would be hilarious,” Aaron said quietly.

“I know the thought is ridiculous, but my mum has got it into her head, and we can just pretend, for tonight, ok?” Robert pleaded. Something shifted in Aaron’s face at the words, but when he sighed heavily Robert knew he had won.

“Alright, but no kissing,” he started, and Robert shook his head. 

“No kissing, we’ll just act as if we’re mates, ok?” 

Aaron bit his lip, and nodded.

“You are such an idiot, you know that?” he said and Robert grinned at him.

“Yes, I am aware of that,” Robert joked. 

“You owe me for this, ok? Badly.” Aaron said as they walked out of the door to Robert’s car.

The drive to the hotel where the event was taking place was short and they spoke sparsely. When Robert pulled up infront of the hotel, he looked over at Aaron, who was obviously more nervous. 

“Right, I mean… what can we do, then?” Robert asked suggestively.

“Oh come on,” Aaron protested, but Robert gave him a grin.

“It has to be believable, right?” Robert looked over at Aaron, who nodded, and bit his lip, wiping his hands on his trouser leg. “It’ll be fine, I swear, and we won’t have to make it uncomfortable. I know the notion of being my boyfriend is insane,” Aaron chuckled slightly at the words, letting out the breath he was holding, “but can I put my hand on your waist?”

Aaron sighed heavily, before agreeing.

“Introduce you as…?”

“Aaron, unless someone asks,” he said quickly.

“Right… hold hands?”

“No, I draw the line there, mate… don’t think I’ve ever done that,” Aaron said and Robert chuckled.

“Fair enough. Shall we get to it?” 

Aaron looked up and smiled at him, his hands fidgeting in his lap and he quickly checked his hair in the rear-view mirror before getting out of the car. Robert had definitely never seen him do that before.

Robert passed the keys to a valet, who gave him a not so subtle once over, and saw Aaron giving him a weird look before they walked in through the front doors together. 

As soon as they found the room where the event was held they were handed a glass of champagne each and were greeted by Robert’s parents.

Sarah was beautiful - she always had been - in an elegant dark green dress and black shoes, and Jack was wearing the only suit he owned, black, with a green tie to match Sarah. She was beaming at them both, and greeted Aaron as if he were family which made Robert shoot him a grin. 

“Oh, I’m so glad you two found each other,” she said sweetly as they stood next to each other, Robert looking down at Aaron’s blushing face. “How did it happen?” 

“Erh, well…” Aaron stammered, and Robert quickly took over. 

“We were waiting for Vic and Adam at a bar and just got to talking, someone came over and hit on Aaron, and I realised I was jealous, and yeah… I guess that’s how it started.” 

Aaron gulped as he looked up at Robert, who smiled at his mother.

“I’m so glad you two both realised it, aren’t we glad, Jack?” 

Jack nodded gruffly, and held out a hand for Aaron and then Robert to take. 

“Good to see you both,” he said, his untouched champagne glass in the other hand. Robert knew he hated the stuff - too extravagant for his taste. He eyed his son suspiciously, not saying anything further, letting a silence settle between the four of them. 

“How’s business?” he finally asked, and Robert shuffled on his feet.

“Business is good, Dad, just signed another contract with a farm a few towns away to supply a large supermarket in the city,” Robert replied, and Jack nodded. 

“Still pushing paper for a living, then?” 

“Jack, you know he’s good at it,” Sarah added kindly, and Robert smiled at her. 

“Plus, I’m not sure how he would like wearing overalls,” Aaron added and Robert stared at him. Sarah laughed, clinking her glass with Aaron’s. Jack even smiled. 

“I think you’ve got that right, pet.” 

The party was as boring as Robert expected it to be; business associates of Lawrence White and White Enterprises, ranging from farmers to contractors to suits, and Aaron definitely relaxed as the evening went on. The finger food passed along on small platters was exorbitant but delicious, and Aaron and Robert managed to mingle sufficiently to make Robert feel like the evening wasn’t a complete waste. That, and it was hilarious to see Aaron try and taste foie gras. 

“Robert!” came a sudden exclamation from across the room and Robert saw Lawrence White walk over with his daughter next to him. He was a man who looked comfortable in any suit, as if it were a second skin, what hair he had left was slicked back across the crown of his head. The woman next to him was beautiful and she was well aware of that fact. Lawrence held out a hand as he made his way towards Robert and Aaron. “Glad you could make it, I gather your parents are here as well?” 

“Yes, they are over by the bar - I think my father needed a beer.”

“A man of simple taste, nothing wrong with that,” Lawrence added, beckoning his daughter forward. “You remember by daughter, Chrissie?” 

Robert did remember her; she was wearing a little black dress that hung affectionately on her every curve, her hair immaculate. She was stunning. Robert held out his hand, and she shook it.

“Yes, I do,” Robert added, and Chrissie smiled at him.

“I’ll be taking over some of my father’s duties, getting better acquainted with the company” Chrissie said glancing at Aaron standing next to Robert, and shooting him a questioning look. 

“Sorry, this is Aaron, my -” Robert began, unsure how to finish, when Aaron put his hand in his and intertwined their fingers.

“Boyfriend,” Aaron finished for him, and Robert grinned at the sight of both Lawrence and Chrissie’s eyebrows shooting up at the word.

“Right, yes, wonderful,” Lawrence said quickly, giving Aaron a quick one-over. “Good to meet you, Aaron ..?” 

“Dingle,” Robert said, his hand still in Aaron’s, the warmth somehow reassuring. “He’s a mechanic.” 

“Good,” Lawrence added, and Chrissie smiled a fake smile at them both. 

“I’d better meet some of our other associates, but I’m sure we’ll meet again,” she smiled, and walked off. 

“I’d best follow suit, eh? Have fun, both of you,” Lawrence said, and smiled at them both before leaving.

As soon as they were out of sight, Aaron pulled his hand out of Robert’s. 

“What was that?” Robert asked, looking down at Aaron’s face.

“Thought you needed to fend her off, yeah? Well, now she’s sure to not come back for more later,” Aaron added, taking a long sip of his champagne, and grimacing at the taste. 

“If you hate it so much why don’t you get a beer?” Robert said, and Aaron shrugged. 

“Didn’t want to make you look bad, did I?” Aaron retorted, and Robert smirked at him.

“Fair enough.” 

“That was a one off, yeah?” Aaron said quickly.

“Yeah, didn’t think you’d want to be so thorough.”

“Shut up, you know why I did it,” Aaron said and Robert nudged him with his shoulder. Aaron smiled up at him, and sipped his champagne.

The rest of the evening went smoothly, and at around 10 o’clock, Robert had had enough of the stuffy atmosphere and boring people.

“You ready to go?” he whispered to Aaron as they were chatting to a machine engineer about tractor motors. 

Aaron nodded and they swiftly made their way to the door. They were stopped by Sarah and Jack on their way out, the former gave them both a kiss on the cheek and told them to find a date they could come for dinner, and the latter held out a hand for them to shake. As Robert shook Jack’s hand, he heard his father speak to him in a low voice.

“You look happy, son,” he said, casting a glance at Aaron, “don’t ruin it this time.” 

Robert swallowed and nodded inconspicuously, before pulling away and saying goodbye.

“So,” Robert said as they walked out to the car, “that went quite well.”

“I guess Chrissie won’t be hitting on you again anytime soon,” Aaron added, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

“Wasn’t that bad, was it?” Robert joked, and he saw a flash of  _ something _ cross Aaron’s features. 

“Holding your hand was more than I signed up for mate,” Aaron said, the smile never reaching his eyes. Robert ignored it, getting the key from the valet who was still quite obviously trying to get his attention.

“My parents believed it as well, they are both quite fond of you it seems, don’t know how they’ll take our fictitious break-up.”

Aaron chuckled. 

“I’m sure they’ll get over it… not going to give him your number?” he added tentatively.

“I’m taken, aren’t I?” Robert joked, and Aaron smiled at him briefly. Aaron was about to speak, but he was interrupted by his phone going off in his pocket. Out of the corner of his eye Robert saw Aaron’s face change as he looked at the number on the screen.

“Need to take that?” he asked, and Aaron shrugged.

“That was Ed,” Aaron said non-committally. Robert opened the car door, and Aaron followed suit, both of them sitting down almost simultaneously.

“Thought he was in France?” Robert asked.

“Yeah, but he comes to England once in awhile, for a match or to visit family… and we keep in touch when he’s around.” 

Robert felt his throat go dry, and swallowed, feeling a knot in his stomach.

“I’ll just call him back when I’m at home,” Aaron said, and Robert gave him a smile as he turned on the car, and drove off.

  
  


A few days later, Robert received a call from an annoyed Victoria - he was in a crowded coffee shop, but Vic had no problems coming through.

“When were you planning on telling me about you and Aaron?!” she practically yelled down the phone, so loudly that Robert had to draw the phone away from his ear briefly.

“Vic, careful, you’ll perforate my eardrum!”

“No, you are not getting out of this so easily, I just talked to mum, and you and Aaron? When did this happen? How did this happen?!” she continued, though slightly more reserved.

“It didn’t, ok? I just needed Mum and Dad off my back about Anna, they were trying to set me up with Lawrence White’s daughter, and mum jumped to conclusions… nothing has happened with Aaron.” 

Vic was silent for a few seconds, and he could practically hear her think on the other end.

“So, you and Aaron aren’t sleeping together..?” she said, and Robert sighed.

“No, ‘course not,” he replied, and she snorted.

“You’d be so lucky.”

“Look, there’s nothing going on between me and Aaron.” Robert insisted, but Vic seemed to think the explanation insufficient.

“So how long is this going to go on for?” she asked quickly.

“I’m calling Mum and Dad in the next few days to tell them we’ve broken up, I swear.”

“Alright, just promise me you’ll not hurt Aaron in all of this, yeah?” she said harshly, much to Robert’s confusion. Why would Aaron be harmed by a ridiculous lie?

“I won’t do anything to hurt him, I swear,” Robert replied, and Vic hummed in response. “Are we still on for dinner Thursday?” 

“We have dinner together every Thursday, of course we are, you muppet.” 

They hung up, Robert running a hand over his head. 

Dinner with Vic on Thursdays had been a tradition since she started university. Robert had money, more money than she did, and he treated her to a meal a weak, whether out or in his flat. When she had started seeing Adam, it was how Robert had met him, and finally when they had found their own place to live, it had shifted to Robert being invited to theirs. Aaron had joined for once in awhile in the beginning, but now he was there almost every week. It was the company of the three people in the world that Robert felt most relaxed with, and he never made other plans on a Thursday.

He grabbed the coffees he had ordered, and headed over to Aaron’s garage. 

Aaron was working on a Jaguar a customer had brought in, and insisted Robert come down to take a look - it was a 10 year old XK convertible and Robert just had to see it.

When Robert arrived, Aaron was elbow-deep in the Jaguar’s motor, his blue overalls wrapped around his waist, bearing the black t-shirt underneath. He glanced sideways and saw Robert, giving him a nod in greeting.

“Two seconds, just need to put this back…” his voice drifted off and Robert heard a distinctive click before Aaron extricated himself from the vehicle’s hood.

Robert let his eyes drift over the car, appreciating the sight. 

“What a beauty,” he said, handing a coffee to Aaron who nodded in appreciation and took a sip.

“Thought you’d like it,” Aaron added. He leant against a workbench and crossed his arms over his chest. Robert set his coffee down and ran a hand over the dark red coating. 

“What I wouldn’t give for one of these, or any old Jag to be honest…” 

“Old?! It’s barely 10 years old mate, compared to you that’s nothing.” 

Robert grabbed the nearest towel and chucked it at Aaron, who caught it in the air. 

“Oi, be nice, I brought you a coffee!” Robert retorted, and Aaron grinned at him.

“You still owe me for the other night, so I can say what I want, mate,” Aaron replied plainly. 

“Wasn’t that bad, was it?” Robert asked. He looked at Aaron over his coffee cup, trying to gauge his reaction, any hint of what was going through his mind.

Aaron was not one to share - he never talked about his feelings, he just acted, knowing what he wanted and going for it. That was how he did everything; with quick deliberation leading to a fast resolve, quite the opposite of Robert’s tendency to manipulate. 

Aaron shrugged his shoulders, and his mouth turned up in his well-known frown for a brief second. 

“Nah, wasn’t so bad, food was alright,” he mumbled, and Robert threw him a smile. 

“Vic called me, yelling in my ear,” Robert said. Aaron’s eyes quirked up at that.

“Why?” 

“Well, Mum called her, and told her the good news,” Robert teased, and Aaron groaned. 

“No, you’ve got to be kidding me - Vic and Adam as well?” Aaron asked with exasperation, and Robert shook his head.

“Don’t worry, I told her the truth, that you were just helping me with our parents, and that there was nothing to it.”

Aaron stared at Robert quietly for a few seconds, before nodding and biting his lip.

“So, how did your talk with Ed go?” 

Aaron paled slightly, shifting his weight from foot to foot before he responded.

“Alright, yeah… he’s in town next week, wanted to hear if we could see each other.”

“You want that, I’m guessing?” Robert asked tentatively, and Aaron tugged the corners of his mouth down in a quick frown.

“Well, he’s a good bloke, and it’s been awhile since I’ve pulled anything…”

Robert nodded at his words, clenching his fists at his sides. He had never liked Ed - not that he had met him that many times - but he was sure it wouldn’t end well. He didn’t want to see Aaron hurt.

“Right, I need to be off, have a meeting to get to. See you thursday, yeah?”

“You will do,” Aaron replied, setting his now empty coffee cup in the bin before walking over to the Jag.

“Now all I have to do is call my parents, and tell them we’ve broken up! If I’m lucky I can manage it before the meeting… ”

“Good luck with that!” Aaron shouted back at him as he walked out of the garage, waving goodbye.

Robert’s feet clicked on the pavement as he made his way down the street towards his offices, each step trying to beat the worry about Ed out of his mind. He clenched and unclenched his fist, finishing his coffee as he walked, but equally not looking forward to the call he had to make. 

Robert’s office comprised nothing more than a few rooms on one floor of an office building, but it was something he was proud of; he had built his business from scratch after working in the industry for a few years, and now he had two a legal assistant, and a secretary, James. 

Robert had never felt interested in farming, and Jack Sugden, the owner of a large, beautiful farm in the Yorkshire countryside, and hadn’t been pleased when his son seemed to want no part in taking over his father’s business. That, and their differing personalities, made their relationship fraught, difficult, and mostly non-verbal. When Jack had realised that Robert was bisexual, he hadn’t taken it well, opting instead to try and beat it out of him, before he decided to ignore it completely. He found a farm-hand he deemed worthy to take over the company, Andy, and Robert had left Yorkshire as soon as he could. 

Robert greeted his secretary with a small nod as he walked in, and sat down in front of his desk before taking a deep breath. His fingers dialed his parents’ landline and his thumb lingered over the call button, his brain not wanting to make the call, and he took a deep breath, willing his mind away from memories best kept buried. Memories of his father, finding him with a lad at age 15. Memories of the leathering he got, the anger flashing in his father’s eyes as he struck, the cold shoulder he received for weeks afterwards. The confusion, the hurt, the feeling of being wrong, not being what he should be, of knowing with a certainty as clear as the marks on his arse that he would never be accepted.

Robert shook his shoulders, a physical attempt to shake off the mental images flitting through his mind, and tried to calm himself. He had gotten over it - it had taken years, and many nights he didn’t remember, many men and women he didn’t remember, but he had made it to the point where he wasn’t ashamed of himself, not anymore. 

Robert was proud to be who he was, and he knew that it was in part due to the small involuntary family he had created. He looked at him thumb and made the decision, but it was taken out of his control when his phone rang. Jack Sugden, mobile.

“Hello?” Robert answered, his voice betraying more emotion than he was comfortable with.

“Hello, son,” Jack began. The ensuing pause was awkward; a silence that encompassed everything in their relationship, everything Robert was too afraid to say. It was a silence that brought him back to being young and foolish and feeling wrong and he hated every second of it. 

“How’s Mum?” Robert asked, knowing any other subject was a struggle for them. 

“Good, she’s good… she misses you, and Vic, but it helps knowing you’re both happy.” Jack began, and Robert made no reply. “You seemed happy, the other day,” Jack commented, and Robert froze. 

“What d’you mean?” 

“With that boy, Aaron.” 

Robert’s mind went blank. He wasn’t prepared for this. Despite his childhood memories, despite their fraught relationship, he still felt that need for his father to acknowledge him, he still yearned for Jack’s approval. 

“Son, I just want you to know that he’s great, and if he makes you happy, then… I would love to get to know him.” 

Robert took in a laboured breath, his eyes staring unfixed at the painting opposite his desk. 

“Right,” he said quietly, a few seconds later than he should. 

“If you want to take him to dinner in a few weeks, I’m sure your mum would love to give him a meal.” Jack added, and Robert ran a hand over his face.

“Alright, yeah, I will do…” he said unknowingly. 

“Good, I’ll speak to you soon, son,” Jack finished, and Robert gave him a nondescript goodbye before they hung up.

This was bad. 

  
  


_ You got time for a beer later? _

Robert sent the text off later that evening, a knot in his stomach. He knew he shouldn’t ask him for this, knew he shouldn’t let himself carry on with the lie, but the conversation with his father had left him light headed and nervous for the first time since he was a teenager. 

Jack had always treated him as second best, told him he wasn’t the son he wanted, and had finally found someone he deemed worthy to hand over the farm to which had driven Robert away aged 19 to university in London to get away from it all. However, Robert could still feel the need to get his approval; after all these years, his father still held sway over him. 

_ Sure, meet at the pub at 6? _

Aaron’s swift reply made Robert’s stomach flip. Now to convince him to continue the charade… if anything, Aaron was the one least affected by it, so why wouldn’t he?

The pub was almost empty - but that might have been because Robert was early. He was nervous, fidgety, and had read his watch wrong, making him 20 minutes too early to meet Aaron, but he didn’t mind. It gave him a chance to try and collect himself, but he hadn’t spoken to his father this much since… well, since their mandatory Christmas meal five months ago.

Aaron knew the basics of his fraught relationship with his father. Aaron’s father had been largely absent but he knew Robert almost would have preferred that to what he had. 

That didn’t justify lying continually to his parents about being in a fake relationship. 

“Alright?” came Aaron’s voice from behind him as he made his way through the pub. 

Robert nodded absentmindedly. 

“What?” Aaron asked.

He knew, of course he would know, that something was wrong, that something had fazed Robert. That’s what your closest friend can, but in that instance, Robert wanted desperately to not be so obviously affected. 

“Something happened, and I don’t know…” Robert began, but words eluded him, and he sighed, running a hand over his head instead.

“Talk to me about it, then,” Aaron said firmly. 

Robert looked over at him and smiled. 

“My dad called earlier,” he began, unsure how to convey what was going through his mind.

“Right, well you said you were going to tell them it was all a lie, yeah?” Aaron added, but his face changed at Robert’s beaten down expression. “You didn’t tell him that, did ya?” 

Robert shook his head, dejected. The bartender came over, and Robert ordered two whiskeys, neat, and Aaron ordered a beer. 

“He told me…” Robert began, opting to take a sip of his first whiskey, downing it, before continuing, “he told me he wanted me to be happy, and that I seemed happy with you,” Aaron’s mouth turned up at this slightly, but Robert wasn’t sure why. “He said he wants to get to know the man that makes me happy.”

Aaron’s mouth turned up in a frown, and he nodded slowly, processing. 

“I haven’t spoken to him on the phone in six months. We see each other every other month for some business thing, or a family obligation, but this feels like him, accepting me. I never thought…” 

“You never thought that would happen?” Aaron finished the sentence, and Robert nodded heavily. “So you told him I’d meet him?” Robert nodded again, and Aaron took in a heavy breath. “When?” 

“In a few weeks, for dinner with my mum,” Robert said, and Aaron let out an exasperated  _ mate. _

“Look, I know, Aaron. I know, this is ridiculous. But.. can we just pretend? We’ll tell them at dinner, I swear, but give me these few weeks to figure this out, to… to think this through.”

Aaron gave him a shrewd look. 

“You know that this won’t make your relationship with him better when he finds out it was a lie?” 

Robert let out a shaky breath.

“Yeah, I know… but I don’t know what else I can do, Aaron. No matter what I do, I’ve never had him call me and not berate me for something, never had him treat me as if I was worth anything, I -” Aaron cut him off before he could continue. 

“It’s ok, Rob, I’ll do it. I’ll not be best pleased with it, but I’ll do it.”

Behind the promise lay the knowledge that Aaron  _ knew _ what it meant to Robert,  _ knew _ that he had wanted this for years, and that was enough for him. Robert looked at him, the man who had been his friend for years, and tried to convey just how grateful he was when he spoke. 

“Thank you.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Robert making good work on his second whiskey, and Aaron keeping him company. They had the uncanny ability for comfortable silences, not needing to fill the air with chatter and small-talk, and Robert never appreciated it more than in these moments; moments where one of them was on the brink of showing emotion they weren’t quite ready to show.

  
  
  


It was Thursday, which meant dinner at Vic and Adam’s. It was a few days since Aaron had agreed to carry on with their fake relationship, at least in front of their parents, and Robert had called Vic since, letting her know what was going on. In turn she had asked him to turn up half an hour early, to help her set up. 

He arrived with a bottle of red in hand and let himself in with the key Vic had given him for emergencies. 

The living room was empty, and he set the bottle down on the kitchen table, calling out tentatively through the flat.

“I hope I’m not disturbing anything…?”

A few seconds passed before Vic came running out of the bedroom, looking slightly rumpled.

“Please don’t tell me -” Robert began but she hit him on the shoulder playfully as she walked into the kitchen.

“Don’t be ridiculous I’m not even ovulating, I was just checking my makeup after a long day at work,” she said. Robert looked behind her, seeing steam rising from beneath the door of their bathroom and silently thanking his sister’s reproductive system.

“Smells delicious, as always,” Robert said and she thanked him with a smile, “but I thought you needed help setting up?” 

Vic looked puzzled for a second before comprehension dawned. 

“Right, yes, err... “ she moved around the kitchen, picking plates out of the cupboard and shoving them into his waiting hands. “Set the table with me?” 

They got to work, Robert moving around their kitchen easily knowing it almost as well as he knew his own.

“So,” he started whilst setting down the cutlery, “what was the  _ real _ reason for asking me here early?”

“Thought we could have a chat is all,” Vic began and Robert sighed.

“What have I done now?”

“Nothing… yet. Look, I just wanted to ask you something… Why Aaron?”

Robert froze.

“What d’you mean?”

“Why did you want to fake a relationship with Aaron?”

“I don’t know Vic, I mean it wasn’t exactly my idea to begin with - Mum was the one who assumed…” but Vic cut him off with a swift hand movement.

“You could’ve just denied it, Robert, but you didn’t.”

“No, it made my evening easier, and Aaron’s a good friend.”

“Think about it, Robert, you never denied it and you’re even allowing it to continue for weeks and weeks?” she gave him a pointed look, but he had no idea what she was alluding to. “I think you want to be with Aaron.”

“You what? That’s ridiculous,” 

“It isn’t - look, you know each other well, you like spending time with him?” Robert nodded along, and Vic continued her list, “you think he’s attractive?” 

“I have eyes, Vic,” Robert admitted, and Vic smiled, pointing with at him with the kitchen roll.

“I’m just saying, there’s no reason for the two of you to  _ not _ be together.”

“Yes there is, he would never be with someone like me, Vic. The only reason why we’re such good friends is he knows how much of an idiot I am,” but he was interrupted.

“And he still puts up with you!”

Robert sighed; clearly his sister was being ridiculous and stubborn and no amount of convincing was going to change her mind on this.

“Look, Robert, the only thing I ask is that you think about it, alright? Think about what Aaron means to you.”

“Fine, but I already know what he means to me we’re friends.”

She smiled at him, that knowing smile that made him want to strangle her, but only slightly and gently. 

“We’ll see, yeah?”

There was a knock at the door, and Vic whispered to Robert before opening for him.

“No mention of this to him, yeah?” 

“‘Course not, I’m not an idiot,” Robert retorted as Aaron walked in. He wore a green jumper, his dark hair ungelled and sitting uncurled on his head. Robert pulled his eyes away, trying to make sense of the knot in his stomach at the sight of him. He threw a small nod Robert’s way and Robert returned it with a smile. 

“Hiya, Aaron,” she said and he greeted her with a hug.

Adam joined, and soon enough they were sat at the table, enjoying Vic’s food and Robert’s wine. Robert was quiet, he knew he was, but his brain was working overtime, trying to make sense of what Vic meant, but no thought struck him that relieved him of his confusion.

As soon as dinner was over,Aaron got up and gave Vic a kiss on the cheek. 

“I’ve got to run, yeah?” Aaron said quickly, his eyes never falling on Robert.

“Where are you off to, haven’t had dessert yet,”  Vic protested, but Aaron frowned.

“Sorry, Vic, but I’m meeting Ed for a drink, don’t want to be late,” Aaron gave a hug to Adam and a small nod at Robert. 

“Right, mate, we don’t want to keep ya from getting laid, yeah?” Adam joked, and Aaron gave an awkward smile before making his way out of the flat. Robert felt his smile falter at the joke, his mind going to places that made his stomach churn. Aaron waved goodbye as he walked out of the door, and as soon as he was out, Vic threw her napkin at Adam, who caught it in mid-air. 

“What was that for?” Adam protested, and Robert grinned. 

“You alright with this, are you?” Vic looked at Robert, who finished his glass of wine before answering.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he countered and Vic sighed. 

“This is getting ridiculous, you know that!”

Adam looked between the two of them, his eyes confused. He leaned forwards and rested his forearms on the table, casting a glance at his wife at the coffee machine as he spoke. 

“I thought this relationship thing was all a fake?” 

“Of course it is, but Vic has got it into her head that I’m in love with Aaron.”

Adam was silent at this, pouring himself and Robert another glass of wine before speaking again.

“I mean I’ve never really understood why you two haven’t gotten together,”

“Not you as well,” Robert sighed, and Adam shrugged.

“I won’t say more on it then,” Adam said, leaning back in his chair, “but if there is something there, talk to Aaron, yeah? We are close enough to both of ya that I don’t want to have to chose if something goes wrong.” 

Robert sighed and accepted his coffee from Vic with a thank you, glad the subject was finally dropped. Why would everyone suddenly assume he was in a relationship with Aaron, his best mate… without even noticing, Robert’s leg starting bouncing nervously under the table. The coffee only seemed to increase his fidgeting and he barely made any conversation for the rest of the evening, his mind unable to focus on the subjects for long. 

After all the coffee had been consumed Robert decided to leave and walk home, maybe that would help sort his head out. As he made his way to the door Victoria gave him a hug and patted him on the arm.

“Take care, alright. And… think about it? By the way, Adam and I have decided to celebrate four years living in this flat by throwing a party next weekend, make sure you’ll be here yeah?”

“I’ll be there, don’t worry. Wouldn’t miss a chance to trash this place,” Robert joked and Victoria shot him a look before waving goodbye. 

Robert enjoyed the brisk night air as he made his way home, relished the opportunity to think without Victoria and Adam discussing his co-workers at the bar, gossip from their last big blow out uninteresting for someone who didn’t know Paul from Jack. 

The idea that just because Robert found Aaron attractive that he wanted to be with him was preposterous - their relationship was the only one he had been able to keep for several years. Through disagreements and personal problems he and Aaron had always remained friends, their friendships stronger for the hardships they had. 

Robert had come out during university in London; no one there seemed to care who you were with and Robert had spent countless nights with faceless strangers trying to sort out his own head. When he had met Aaron there had been no possibility of anything, and Robert had never even let the idea pass through his mind. When Aaron had come out Robert had been too good friends with him to want anything more. 

He cherished what they had, that he knew he had someone he could always talk to or hang out with, and there was no reason to jeopardise that for something that would never happen. His mind briefly flickered to Ed, the gorgeous rugby player Aaron had met at the garage, and what they were inevitably doing at that moment, but he shook it off immediately. Aaron was happy, that was the most important thing.

He made it home without any real clarity of thought, without having any idea what to do next. He crawled into bed eager for the relief of sleep but found it was hard to come by; instead he still had a knot in his stomach which he put down to the coffee and he tossed and turned into the early hours of the morning.

  
  


Sunday morning Robert woke up next to someone - Maria? Meaghan? - he had found at the local pub the night before. Some of his business associates had convinced him to come out for a few instead of staying in and she had been easy to get. 

As he sat in the kitchen with a cup of coffee trying to shake off the worst of his hangover, he felt an unfamiliar unease course through him. Sending Mary off didn’t help and neither did having a shower. He texted Aaron, having not heard from him since Thursday, and they agreed to meet for a quick lunch at a nearby chippy.

Robert showered and threw on a light blue shirt, a dark blue sweater, and a pair of sunglasses before heading out, his head still a bit aching from the whiskey he consumed the night before. The 15 minute walk helped somewhat, the fresh air clearing his head, but the knot in his stomach only grew as he made his way to the chippy. The sun was shining and he couldn’t see Aaron when he arrived so he sat down outside and closed his eyes, drinking in some of the spring sun.

He opened his eyes and saw Aaron walk across the road, hands stuffed in the pockets of his hoodie, and signalled at him to join him.

“You’re looking a bit worse for wear,” Aaron commented as he sat down opposite Robert. He was squinting; Aaron wasn’t one to wear sunglasses because he thought they didn’t suit him, which was a ridiculous notion. Aaron looked good in anything.

“Late night last night co-workers wanted to go out on the lash so I joined and ended up drinking more whiskey than is good for me.” 

Aaron pointed to a mark by Robert’s collarbone, a mark he thought was hidden by his sweater, and Robert blushed.

“Can’t have been that bad, then,” Aaron joked. Robert tugged at his shirt and gave a small smile.

“Would be better if I could remember much of it to be honest,” Robert admitted, and Aaron’s face fell.

“You alright?” Aaron asked kindly, and Robert shrugged.

“I don’t know, think all of this with my father has dredged up some memories I’d rather keep hidden, it’s messing with my head,” Robert said, taking his sunglasses off and hanging them in his collar. “Anyway, wanted to hear how you were doing, how’re things with Ed?” 

Aaron shrugged, leaning back in his chair, his mouth turned up in a frown.

“Fine, yeah… he’s in Yorkshire for the next few weeks, first for a match and then some time off, so we’re just hanging out. He goes back to France in any case so I don’t want anything serious.” Robert nodded.

“You alright with nothing serious then?” 

Aaron didn’t reply immediately and once again Robert found himself wishing he could read Aaron’s mind - he was too good at keeping his emotions intact, and in moments like these, it was infuriating. 

“Can’t be serious, I can’t move to France,” Aaron admitted. 

“Why not?” 

“I have a job here, friends here, family…” Aaron’s eyes met Robert’s, and he almost thought Aaron was going to say more, his heart leaping slightly, but he said nothing, letting out a slow breath instead. Robert nodded quickly, looking at Aaron sitting in the sun opposite him, and smiled.

“That settles it, then.”

They ate lunch in the April sun, talking about everything and nothing, and Robert felt the knot in his stomach dissolve in the quiet comfort of Aaron’s presence. Surely that was the mark of a good friendship, and Robert went home with a small smile.

  
  


Vic and Adam’s flat was crowded with people, some Robert knew and some he didn’t, but all of whom were drunk, or getting there. Vic was always one for a good celebration, and this seemed to be no exception; he recognised friends from their childhood, friends from uni, even some of the children of their parents’ business partners were there, all to celebrate with his sister. He had always admired her for the joy she insisted on spreading and he smiled to himself to see so many people eager to join her in her pointless celebration.

He found Aaron in the kitchen with Adam, joking and laughing, and went over to join them. 

“Alright, mate?” Adam said, handing him a beer.

“Yeah, I’m good,” he grabbed the beer, opening it and taking a deep sip, “just made a deal with some new clients so I deserve a night off I reckon.” 

Aaron eyed him suspiciously, a mischievous smile on his face.

“Don’t you have enough money and work already?” 

“Thinking of expanding the business, and for that I need new clients and more money,” Robert countered, and Aaron rolled his eyes. 

“You should find someone, Rob, someone to focus on other than work, yeah?” Adam told him in that way that only happily married people can. “Even though I know how interested you are in this one here,” he said, poking Aaron in the side, who swatted his hand away. 

“Shut up, you know perfectly well that’s just a front for the parents,” Robert said, and Adam laughed. Aaron nodded at them both before moving out of the kitchen, his beer in hand, a slightly surly look on his face.

“Yeah, yeah, look, there’s a girl here tonight that I thought you might want to meet, her name’s Rebecca, she’s a DJ, I met her at one of my work parties… she might be right up your street, mate!”

“Maybe I’m looking for something a bit more rough around the edges at the moment,” Robert joked, and Adam grinned at him.

“Safe, I mean you do you, but make sure to say hi to her, yeah? She seems alright.” He scanned the crowd until his eyes fell on a blonde girl in a mink fur coat, her hair done up in a loose bun that Robert was sure was supposed to look casual but only made her look more vain than anything. “There she is, Rebecca White, she seems quite fun… just say hi, that’s all,” Adam nudged his shoulder, and Robert shrugged, not really interested. She seemed familiar, he couldn’t quite place his finger on it, but maybe it was just a resemblance to that type of high maintenance person.

“I’ll see, yeah?” 

“Alright, mate,” Adam grinned at him, before his face turned more serious. “You talked to Aaron lately?” 

“Well, yeah, why?” Robert added, and Adam shrugged.

“Something seems off about him, I can’t put my finger on it, but he’s got that twitch by his eyes but he won’t tell me… thought maybe he had talked to you?” 

“I don’t know,” Robert said, “he hasn’t mentioned anything…”

“Ed called him while we were together the other night, maybe that’s what’s bothering him…” Adam said, his voice drowning in the music. Robert gave a small smile and shrugged, his eyes scanning the room. He saw Aaron laugh at something Victoria said - he looked happy enough, but as their eyes met across the room a small smile tinged with  _ something _ settled on his face instead. Robert couldn’t help but smile back, an unfamiliar warmth spreading through his body. Their eye contact was broken off by someone touching him on the shoulder, and he saw Aaron’s face fall before he looked down to find Rebecca glancing up at him through long eye-lashes. 

“Robert, correct?” she asked, smiling. 

“Yes, I am,” he stuck out a hand, which she gently shook. “You’re Rebecca White, Adam mentioned?” 

“Yes, I am. Good to know I’ve been talked of,” she added, and Robert almost audibly groaned. 

“Any relation to Lawrence and Chrissie White, of White Enterprises?” 

“Lawrence is my father, and Chrissie is -” 

“Your sister,” Robert finished, finally realising why she seemed familiar; she carried the arrogance of the White family surely on her shoulders. 

“Half-sister, actually,” she added. “Although I’ll have to berate them for not introducing me to you earlier.” Her eyes shamelessly ran over his body, glinting with something that made Robert shudder.

“Right, well, I have a friend who needs a beer, so I’ll just -” he said, extracting himself from her obvious flirting. He hadn’t been interested at first, but knowing she was a White only made him want to stay as far away from her as possible.

He made his way over to the fridge, dodging between acquaintances as he made his way there. He grabbed two beers, opened them, and turned around, locating Aaron at the other end of the room talking to some of his co-workers. As quickly as he could, he made his way over there, offering the beer to Aaron who gladly accepted with a small nod and a bite of his lip. 

“Found someone you like then?” Aaron asked quietly, and Robert shook his head.

“Nah, she’s a bit horrid to be honest. Not my type,” Robert said. Aaron didn’t respond to this immediately, seemingly lost in thought.

“Thought it wasn’t your fault so many people wanted you?” 

“Doesn’t mean I want them back,” Robert said, and he noticed the twitch in Aaron’s temple, and his concern grew. “You alright?” 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Aaron countered, and Robert gave him a knowing look.

“I don’t know, Ed called the other day, maybe something happened there or something else entirely, but I can’t help you unless you talk.” 

Aaron looked up at him and Robert thought he saw something in his eyes he hadn’t seen before; fear.

“I care about you, Aaron, you know I do, and I just want to help,” 

“Ed asked me -” Aaron began, but was cut off by someone approaching. “You have got to be kidding me,” he groaned, before leaving Robert with a pat on the shoulder. 

“Hiya,” Rebecca said, leaning against Robert more than was necessary. “Thought I would come over and see what was so interesting it was keeping you from me.”

“Actually, a friend of mine was telling me something, I need to go and find him, alright?” 

“Fine,” she said, sliding her arm up and down his own before he managed to walk off in search of Aaron. 

Ed had asked him what? Robert’s curiosity was unbridled, his mind going through every opportunity while his eyes scanned the room.

Vic ran into him on the way, her eyes accusatory and hostile. 

“What have you done now?” she asked, prodding a finger against his chest.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Vic!”

“Aaron! I told you not to hurt him and -” 

“I haven’t done anything, I swear.”

“Well, fix it, before I try and set the both of you straight, yeah?” 

“Fine, I’m just on my way to find him, alright?” She nodded, and he pushed past her, finding Aaron in the hallway, chatting to Adam.

“Vic’s looking for ya,” he said, pointing back at the living room packed full of people. 

“Right, I’ll leave you two to it, yeah?” Adam patted Aaron on the arm as he made his way out of the hall. 

Robert looked at him, and Aaron sighed.

“What d’you want?” Aaron said, and Robert smiled at him.

“Come now, Aaron, I just want to help, yeah?” 

“Well, you can’t, so just leave it,” Aaron made to pass him but was stopped by someone stopping behind. “Seriously?” 

“You two alright out here?” Rebecca’s voice cut through their conversation, and Robert sighed.

“Can you leave us to it for a bit?” he asked quietly, and Rebecca smiled at him. 

“Thought you could use the company,” 

“Look, he’s not interested, alright?” Aaron cut in, and Rebecca eyed him up and down, not hiding her thoughts. 

“What would you know about that?” she asked, and Aaron sighed. 

“I’m his boyfriend,” Aaron said quietly, and Robert immediately wrapped his arm around Aaron’s waist, glad for an excuse to ignore her.

“Oh come off it, I’ve been flirting with him all night, he’s not going to pick you over me,” she said angrily, and Robert sighed. 

“You have got to be kidding me, can’t you take no for an answer?” Robert asked, no longer able to keep up the facade. 

“I’m not sure I’ve heard a no yet,” she smiled, and before Robert could give a reply, Aaron’s lips were on his, soft, gentle, but no less demanding, pressing against Robert in a way that commanded his attention. A warmth spread through Robert’s body, an excitement and thrill at this new feeling of Aaron, sending thrills down his spine.

Robert could help his body reacting; moulding his lips to Aaron’s, moving seamlessly with him, relishing the stubble grazing his skin and the want coursing through him. He twisted his body and leaned into it, opening his mouth and biting on Aaron’s lip,  _ that _ lip that he had looked at so often between Aaron’s teeth, and Aaron’s arm snaked around him letting out a whimper as they gravitated towards one another.. Robert was encompassed by the feeling of Aaron, on his lips, against his skin, under his fingertips, and his mind forgot the world around them, instead pulling Aaron closer to him, drawing him in.

Aaron pressed against him, opening his mouth and allowing his tongue to meet Robert’s, eliciting a dark and deep moan from him at the spark, the desire that coursed through him at the touch, entirely surprising but not at all unwanted; desire that sent his blood straight to his cock.

Robert curled his tongue behind Aaron’s teeth, drawing in a heavy breath while he moved closer, and felt Aaron’s hand tug at the hairs in the nape of his neck, just enough to hurt and it was making his toes curl.

He pulled away and looked at Aaron whose eyes were dark and lips were red from kissing, a blush creeping up his neck that was almost sinful. This,  _ this, _ was so much more than he had ever felt before, a burning passion igniting his every nerve and he had no idea why they hadn’t done that before.

“What -” Robert began, but stopped as he saw Aaron’s expression change. His face fell and he pulled further away, his hand leaving Robert’s hair, Robert’s hands unable to keep him close. He felt the expectant atmosphere disappear as the heat of Aaron’s body left him, and saw a sadness in Aaron’s eyes that cut at his heart. He stuffed his hands in his pocket, and looked at the floor.

“No, wait…” Robert began but Aaron had already reigned himself in, ignoring the moment that had seared itself into Robert’s brain.

“I’ll see you, yeah?” Aaron said, his voice dismissive, and Robert held his hand out to stop him, reaching out in the air and grabbing nothing.

“Aaron, we need to talk about this,” Robert began, and Aaron shrugged.

“Nothing to talk about, mate,” he said, emphasising the last word with a hard voice as he grabbed his jacket and pushed past Robert to the front door. He walked out quickly, not even sending a glance Robert’s way before he shut the door, and Robert was left with a racing heart and a knot in his stomach.

He stood immobilised, uncomprehending, his mind replaying the seconds before, trying to make sense of it until he decided he couldn’t - not on his own. 

Robert ran out of the door, his jacket in his hand as he started along the familiar road back to Aaron’s flat. Aaron must have taken a cab, because no matter how fast Robert ran he never caught up to him, and as he arrived at the front door breathless, panting, but he pressed the doorbell to Aaron’s flat before he managed to catch his breath. 

“Yeah?” came a gruff voice from Aaron’s flat, a voice Robert recognised, but as Aaron’s. “Did you forget your key, babe?” Ed asked, and Robert crumpled, leaning on his thighs as he took deep breaths. 

“Wrong door, mate, sorry,” he managed to get out before Ed hung up.

Ed. Muscular, nice, sweet, safe Ed. 

  
  
  


His own flat seemed eerily empty when he unlocked the door and trudged inside. He threw his keys onto the small table next to the front door and sat down heavily on the sofa. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he pulled it out and saw several messages from Vic asking where he had got to, where Aaron had gone, whether they had left together, but Robert couldn’t bring himself to type out a reply, instead tossing the phone aside and putting his head in his hands.

He knew it was impossible but the taste of Aaron lingered on his lips, they still burned with the memory of Aaron breathing against his skin, moaning at his touch. How had he never seen it before? Robert’s every cell craved more of Aaron and his brain replayed the sound of Aaron whimpering beneath him, driving Robert mad. 

It had never been an option before tonight - maybe he had never allowed it to be an option? - but now he had tasted heaven and wanted more.

If only Aaron had been home, if only Ed hadn’t.  _ Ed. _ The thought of him, muscled, in Aaron’s flat, with Aaron, made Robert want to punch something. 

Why was Ed even in Aaron’s flat? Was he staying there now? Maybe he wasn’t even going back to France… the image of Ed and Aaron happy together, moving in together, marrying each other, starting a family together, Ed smiling as Aaron said ‘I do’ made Robert’s stomach churn. He imagined Ed touching Aaron, drawing out the same elicit sounds as Robert just had, and he poured himself a glass of whiskey, hoping the liquor would drown out his the images flooding his brain.

He had met Ed once or twice - he was nice, a genuinely sweet and kind person, and though Robert had no problem with the man, he had never liked him. Now, the thought of him being with Aaron made Robert feel sick

His phone buzzed and he lunged after it, hoping to see Aaron’s name on his screen, but finding a text from Adam instead. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, choosing instead to type out a short message, writing and rewriting until he had something that in no way resembled the chaos he felt stuck in.

_ We need to talk, call me tomorrow? _

He sent it to Aaron, and realised he had no idea what he wanted to say, but that would have to wait until tomorrow.

  
  
  


Tomorrow came hard and heavy after a fitful night’s sleep, Robert tossing and turning most of the night, unable to to focus on any one thought flitting through his mind. He hoped the morning brought clarity but it only brought more confusion; confusion about Aaron, about what they were, about what Aaron wanted. 

Robert knew he had to resign himself to the fact that he and Aaron would most likely just be friends, but the thought brought the knot in his stomach back, and a small voice in the back of his head whispered to him, asking him if that would be enough.

 

Aaron didn’t reply. He didn’t call. Robert tried to stop checking his phone every two minutes, but every time his phone lit up he leapt at it, his heart beating faster at the possibility of talking to Aaron. He was miserable. 

 

It was Thursday before he pulled himself together enough to try and make it past Aaron’s work, buying a coffee for Aaron on the way (black, his favourite), but mostly just buying time. 

He checked through the glass window and when he saw that the place was apparently empty he made his way through the door, carefully carrying his peace offering in his hand. 

“He’s not here,” came a voice harder than Aaron’s.

“Cain?” Robert asked, looking around the garage to find him leaning against a metal work tower. “How did you…?”

“He’s been fidgety and surly since the weekend, gave him the day off to sort it out,” Cain eyed Robert before continuing, “from the look of you, he hasn’t.”

“Right,” Robert said, unsure what else to say, before handing his coffee towards Cain. “Coffee?”

Cain grunted in acceptance and Robert left, not entirely sure what to do next. 

 

So he called him. Aaron, being Aaron, didn’t pick up.

He called again, this time letting it go to voicemail before hanging up, his stomach fluttering. He threw the phone down on his sofa chastising himself for acting like a confused teenager but it didn’t relieve the tightness in his chest.

He called Aaron one last time, leaving a short and almost pleading voicemail, “Aaron, it’s - it’s Robert. Please call me back?” before hanging up and kicking a dining room chair in frustration.

 

Thursday came around, and Robert held some small vestige of hope that Aaron would show up to their tradition, but as soon as he walked through the door Vic shook her head and Robert’s shoulders slumped.

“What the hell happened Saturday night?” Vic demanded, sitting down next to Robert at the dining table and placing a hand on his arm.

“We kissed,” Robert said and Vic let out a small squeal. “I mean, Rebecca was following me around and Aaron was trying to tell me something, and I don’t know why but he decided to act like my boyfriend and he leant in and kissed me… but I don’t even know? He bolted as soon as we pulled apart.”

She hit him on the arm, and he flinched.

“Why didn’t ya run after him?” 

“I did, but I couldn’t find him so I ran to his flat and rang the doorbell but Ed answered…”

“Oh, Robert.”

“We haven’t talked since… I have no idea what happened, Vic, I’ve never thought of Aaron in that way, but now… I just need to talk to him”

Vic gave him a pointed look, absentmindedly stroking his arm comfortingly. 

“Have you called him?” 

“Several times, and texted, but he’s not answering… Even visited him at work yesterday but Cain let him have the day off, said he was too agitated to work and I don’t know…” his voice trailed off and Vic smiled at him softly.

“You know you could go by his flat again?”

“I don’t even know what I would say, Vic. I don’t know why he kissed me, but he did, and for all I know, it was just to get Rebecca to back off, but…”

“But…?” she edged him on, and he sighed.

“Ed’s there, I’m sure he’s busy and I don’t want to ruin everything.”

Vic squeezed his arm kindly and Robert gave a weak smile. 

“What would you say to him?” she asked, and Robert swallowed hard. He had never thought that far, he had always just assumed they would figure it out if they saw each other but now his fears multiplied, his gut wrenching.

“I don’t know,” he said, almost laughing, “I just… this feels weird, I haven’t spoken to him for days, he’s usually the person I talk to about this stuff and he’s gone off the radar.”

“Talk to me, then,” Vic suggested. 

Robert squirmed, thinking back on conversations he has had with Aaron that he had never had with Vic, conversations about his father, his sexuality, his issues with his self-perception… Aaron knew him better than anyone. But Aaron wasn’t not there.

“I - I haven’t been able to sleep, or eat, since Sunday, I don’t even know why but I keep replaying that kiss over and over, and… I think I want more,” Robert sighed, a weight lifted off his shoulder. Admitting it aloud seemed more substantial than any relationship he had ever had, a promise of needing someone, wanting someone, and Robert nervously looked into Victoria’s eyes and saw only a smile.

“Do you want to do it again? Kiss him, I mean,” Vic asked tentatively and Robert waited before responding, finally giving a small nod. He felt his stomach contract at the admission, his heart beating furiously in his chest.

“You need to talk to him, Rob, you two can’t continue like this. It’s clearly doing your head in!” Robert nodded meekly, exhausted, but scared at the prospect of seeing Aaron, being hated by Aaron, losing Aaron…

“Ok, I’ll go,” Robert got up and ran a hand through his hair. “What if he isn’t even home?”

“Adam?” Vic called, and he stuck his head his head out from the office. 

“Yeah, babe?” 

“Can you call Aaron, check what he’s up to?” 

Adam looked between Robert and Vic suspiciously, but shrugged.

“He told me earlier he just needed a night in to think, Ed asked him to move to France with him -”

“What?!” Robert shrieked, looking frantically at his sister.

“Yeah, mentioned it earlier today… said he’s considering it,” Adam finished. 

It was like a punch to the gut; all the air was knocked out of his lungs, his blood pumping in his ears, and he helt like he was shaking.

“He can’t -” Robert started, getting up and grabbing his jacket. A frantic panic settled in him, a panic at what he knew, and what he needed to say. 

“Go, Rob!” Vic finally said and Robert nodded before giving her a kiss on the cheek. 

The cab ride over to Aaron’s was as close to hell as he had ever experienced - a mess of fears and regrets and what ifs that drove him to the edges of his sanity, made him question every single choice in his life that had resulted in him being here, at this point in time. 

The thought of Aaron leaving was unacceptable, insufferable. His fingers trembled at the buzzer to Aaron’s flat, the letters saying A. Dingle (something Robert had always found mildly funny, and Aaron had rolled his eyes at), and he willed his hand to a semblance of control before pressing the button.

“Yeah?” Aaron’s voice rang out, gruff and distant, sending shivers through Robert’s body.

“Aaron, it’s Robert - can I come up?” 

Silence followed and Robert thought Aaron wasn’t going to let him, Aaron was going to tell him to leave, that he was leaving, before he heard the lock of the door open and he pushed inside. 

The door to Aaron’s flat was open when he arrived at his floor and he carefully pushed it open before stepping in. Aaron stood leaning against the back of his sofa, pulling the sleeves of his jumper down over his hands and biting his lip. He looked just as nervous as Robert felt which was almost soothing, if it weren’t for the giant knot in his stomach at the sight of him. God he was gorgeous, hair ungelled, the jumper accentuating the muscles in his arms, and Robert took a few seconds to drink him in. How had he never wanted him before?

“Hiya,” he began, his nerves suddenly gone at the sight of him. He had never been so certain about something, or someone, in his life. Aaron nodded at him, crossing his hands over his chest giving away nothing. “I needed to talk to you Aaron, after…” Robert broke off, his eyes falling to the floor. It was impossible to find the right words, but he had to try. 

“So, talk,” Aaron finally said. Robert almost flinched at the sight of his eyes, hard and unyielding, as he looked at him from across the room.

“Don’t go to France,” Robert asked, and Aaron’s body stiffened.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” Aaron said quietly and Robert sighed.

“Don’t make this harder than it is, Aaron. I’m begging here - please don’t go to France to be with Ed, I couldn’t handle it.”

Aaron stared at the floor, his hands clenched beneath his arms, and Robert waited. He knew Aaron well enough to know not to push him.

“Why?” Aaron began but he stopped, shaking his head, “Ed’s great, he likes me and we’re good together…”

“I love you, Aaron.”

Aaron’s eyes flew up and met Robert’s, fear etched in every flicker of his eyes. Robert met him with a steely gaze.

“You what?” 

“I love you,” Robert admitted but Aaron didn’t react, not at first - it was a slow realisation, his eyes growing wide as comprehension dawned. “I haven’t been able to think about anything other than you since you kissed me, I’ve been unable to sleep, unable to eat, but it’s more than that… I don’t know why you kissed me but I want more, I want you. I know you must have felt something too, ”

Aaron blushed at that, the colour creeping up his neck, briefly forcing Robert’s eyes down to the delicious curve of Aaron’s shoulder. It only made him want him more. 

“I don’t know why I didn’t see it before but I love you and I want to be with you,” Robert continued, seeing Aaron swallow hard. He took a chance, taking a step towards Aaron and then another, edging closer to the gorgeous man in front of him.

Aaron stared at him as he walked, his arms pressing against the sofa, his eyes fixed on Robert’s, tracing his face, flickering to his lips quickly before meeting Robert’s eyes again. His eyes were such a startling blue, Robert found himself standing inches from them and wanting to drown in them. Suddenly Robert was so close to Aaron he could feel his breath on his skin, he could smell the intoxicating scent of Aaron and he wanted to badly to reach out and touch, holding back only because Aaron had yet to speak. 

Robert searched his face, his expression pleading as they stood close enough to kiss, the atmosphere heavy with tension. He could see Aaron’s chest rise with each breath he took, saw Aaron’s eyes flicker to his lips. 

“I’m scared. I don’t want to be another person you sleep with and leave,” Aaron said.

“I don’t want to hurt you but I don’t want to wonder what if.” Robert took a step back and Aaron bit his lip. Robert lifted his hand up and placed it against Aaron’s cheek, stroking the skin and stubble there, hearing Aaron’s breath hitch at the touch.

“Choose me,” Robert whispered, close enough to Aaron’s face to see the fluttering of Aaron’s eyes as he spoke, to trace every inch of Aaron’s face before he saw Aaron’s slight nod and went for it. 

Their lips met and Robert had almost forgotten how it felt, as if he had repressed the memory out of sheer volition but having Aaron beneath him again made his knees weak. His lips were soft and his smell was overwhelming and Robert felt the earth shift beneath him, his reality crumbling as they touched, pulling Aaron off the sofa and into his arms.

Aaron wrapped his arms around Robert’s waist, pressing his hands against the muscles of Robert’s back and Robert moved his head slightly, deepening the kiss, letting his tongue slide against Aaron’s and drawing a deep moan as it happened. 

This was a feeling he had never had before; an intense desire, a warmth spreading from each point of contact with Aaron, a need to draw out every second of their kiss to an infinity so they could remain like this forever.

Robert pulled away again, resting his forehead against Aaron’s while he tried to catch his breath.

“ _ Fuck, _ Aaron,” he whispered and Aaron nudged at his nose with his own. He opened his eyes and found Aaron’s, smiling at the sight of him; the red lips, the lustful eyes, and he felt the air shift, felt Aaron eye him in a way that made his skin tingle. He paused and Robert hesitated, putting his arms on either side of Aaron’s body and looking at him with questioning eyes.

“Alright?” he asked and Aaron’s eyes met his.

“I -” Aaron hesitated, and Robert stroked his arm with his thumb. Aaron met his eye calmly, the fear replaced by something that made Robert’s insides flip. “I love you, too.”

Robert’s heart stopped in his chest. He placed his forehead against Aaron’s, not even attempting to hold back the grin that tugged at his mouth. Their eyes met and the solidity of their bond was comforting and terrifying all at once.

Aaron’s eyes flickered to Robert’s lips before he kissed him again, pushing him backwards until he was pressed against the kitchen counter behind him, all teeth and tongue and beard grazing skin. Robert pulled him against him, legs slotting perfect between each other. Robert felt his blood rush to his groin, felt Aaron’s hips press against him, the evidence of his desire against his thigh and suddenly it was all they could do to not rip each other’s clothes off. 

Robert’s jacket went first followed by Aaron’s jumper, Robert pulling it over his head quickly before reattaching his lips to Aaron’s. He was intoxicating, sexy, and Robert had never felt so needing of someone as he did in that moment, Aaron’s body beneath his fingertips.

He managed to get to the hem of Aaron’s t-shirt, pulling it up and letting his eyes fall on his bare chest, the perfect smattering of dark hair, the well-defined muscle, the flat stomach, raking over the man that made Robert want to bite and lick and touch until his lips were numb. Instead, he went for Aaron’s neck, mouthing at the soft skin, relishing every sound coming out of Aaron.

He felt Aaron’s hands at the hem of his own clothes, and let Aaron pull them off, seeing his eyes darken at the sight. A hand ran down Robert’s chest, feeling the curve of his chest and stomach and Aaron’s eyes darkened with need as he grabbed Robert’s hand and pulled him into his bedroom, pressing him against the closed door when they were inside.

Every touch of Aaron’s fingers on his skin set Robert on fire, made him crave more. The air was heavy with desire and Robert pushed Aaron to the edge of the bed, letting them fall on top of each other, landing with one arm awkwardly stuck under Aaron’s back. Robert looked up at Aaron and laughed, making Aaron giggle as he extricated his arm, but Robert suddenly realised where they were, what they were about to do, and the laughter died in his throat, replaced by an all-encompassing love that stifled Aaron’s laughter.

Aaron’s lips were on his neck, biting into his shoulder, and Robert could do nothing but groan as Aaron’s hands ran down his back and slipped under his trousers, grabbing at his arse and pulling him between Aaron’s legs. He moved his hands to unbuckle Robert’s jeans and Robert did the same, pulling at their jeans until they were only separated by the thin fabric of their boxers.

Robert felt his clothed cock slide against Aaron’s and stared into Aaron’s eyes as he repeated the movement, every nerve in his body set alight at the sensation. He bent his head down slowly, his lips and tongue meeting Aaron’s in a languid kiss as they moved together, hands entangled in hair and grabbing skin. 

He felt Aaron’s hand slip under his briefs again, slide along his hip, touching at his hipbone before moving down and grasping Robert’s erection in his hand. Robert moaned, breaking off the kiss and pressing his forehead to Aaron’s, overwhelmed by the shivers going down his spine, the pooling of want in his stomach, Aaron’s hand on him, overwhelmed by everything  _ everything _ . Never before had such a simple touch given him so much pleasure and it was all down to Aaron, the beautiful man beneath him, moving his hand slowly up and down his length, making his hips buckle and his mouth hang open.

“I want this,” Aaron whispered against Robert’s ear as he touched him, “inside me.”

Robert gave a moan and a simple nod before kissing him with desperation, bringing his own hand down to cup Aaron’s arse and take off his briefs. 

When Robert finally had him naked beneath him, he didn’t know which part of his body he wanted to touch first; his perfect cock, thick and slightly curved to the left; his thighs, with the perfect smattering of dark hair; his arse, firm but soft and craving his attention; but Aaron took the choice out of his hand, taking off Robert’s briefs and pulling him down on top of him, letting their bodies touch without hindrance. 

“ _ Fuck, _ Aaron, why have we never done this before?” Robert whispered, relishing the touch of his cock against Aaron’s, their hips shifting to allow miniscule amounts of delicious friction.

“Are you sure you want this?” Robert started and Aaron grinned at him, reaching behind him and taking out some condoms and lube. 

“Aaron,” Robert whispered, a grin on his face as he moved his hips, slotting his legs between Aaron’s. He slid a hand down Aaron’s side, down to his hips before putting his hand between the bed and his arse and his breath hitched as Robert squeezed. Robert reached over with his other hand grabbing the lube and warming it up between his fingertips, moving Aaron’s legs further apart and placing his hand between his cheeks, teasing Aaron’s hole with his slick fingertip. Aaron gave a breathy moan and moved down the mattress slightly, his body begging for more. 

Robert pushed his finger in, the tightness of Aaron making him lightheaded when he thought of pushing himself in and he quickly added a second, scissoring and opening Aaron while making him writhe with pleasure before adding a third. Robert knew the moment he had found the bundle of nerves he was looking for, Aaron murmuring incoherently and fisting the sheets as Robert pressed his fingers against it. Fucking hell he was gorgeous, sweaty and needy beneath him, pre-cum leaking out of his cock and Robert couldn’t resist; as Aaron lifted his head and their eyes met Robert wrapped his lips around the tip, sliding his tongue down the shaft as his fingers worked Aaron’s prostate. 

“I’m so close I -” Aaron moaned and Robert pulled his mouth off with a satisfying pop, stilling his fingers to give Aaron brief respite from stimulation. 

He pressed a kiss to Aaron’s hip bone, biting slightly and making Aaron hiss at the touch. He slowly pulled out his fingers before leaning up and kissing Aaron, a dirty, needy kiss that had Aaron tasting himself on Robert’s tongue. He pulled Robert down on top of him, entangling their legs as every inch of their bodies aligned.

Aaron grabbed a condom and rolled it on Robert quickly, allowing Robert to lather himself up before placing himself at Aaron’s widened hole and pushing in.

Aaron was tight and hot around him, and when he bottomed out it knocked the breath out of his lungs. It felt so good, so  _ right _ , it made Robert’s toes curl. Aaron gave a small nod and Robert started moving in and out, losing himself in the feel of him, the smell of Aaron, his hand on his back or digging into the flesh of his arse as he moved. With each movement he watched Aaron’s face, bending down to kiss him or to bite at the sweaty skin of his neck. Before long he was panting in Aaron’s ear and seeing that Aaron was close to another release he angled his thrusts, hitting his prostate repeatedly until Aaron clenched around him and came, moaning.Aaron clenching drove Robert over the edge, grunting as he found release, his body wrapped around the man he loved. 

When he came to he felt Aaron press a kiss to his shoulder. Their eyes met and they could do nothing but smile at each other, drinking in the post-coital bliss before cleaned up.

“I have wanted this for so long,” Aaron said later as they lay in bed, hands running up and down Robert’s back, “I have wanted you for so long.” 

“I didn’t know,” Robert whispered regretfully, “I’m sorry.” 

Aaron kissed away his regret, tongue sliding and caressing Robert’s, making him forget the time wasted and focus on the present: Aaron, naked and satisfied beneath him. 

“Say it again?” Aaron asked, and Robert saw the slight smile on his lips, a smile that made his heart hurt. 

“I love you,” he complied before he bent down and gently pressed his lips against Aaron’s, a kiss that attempted to convey all the emotions coursing through his veins.

 

When he awoke the next morning he had no recollection of where he was. Robert felt a weight on his chest and looked down to see Aaron breathing deeply as he slept, his curls sitting softly on his head. 

A warmth spread through Robert’s chest that made him smile, his whole face grinning at the sight of Aaron and the memories of last night that came with it. _This,_ he thought, _must be what happiness feels like._

 

They scrounged a breakfast together from the sparse contents of Aaron’s fridge which meant a few eggs and mushrooms. Their eyes were locked on each other as they ate, a knowing smile passing between them as their hands touched across the table and Robert couldn’t help but drag him back to bed after breakfast, craving the sweet release he had only found with Aaron.

  
  


“When did you know?” Robert asked later that night as they sat on Aaron’s sofa and watched a movie. 

“Know?” Aaron replied.

“Know that you loved me?” Robert said with a grin on his face and Aaron rolled his eyes.

“Really?” 

“Yeah, you know how I found out and I want to know how long you’ve been pining for me,” Robert joked, which only got him a poke in the side. 

“I haven’t been pining, you idiot.”

“Fine, but how long did you know?” Robert insisted and Aaron groaned, turning around on the sofa and switching off the movie before speaking.

“I fancied you from the beginning but I didn’t know I loved you until you started seeing Anna.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Robert asked, his face serious.

“I was convinced you could never want me so I bottled it and tried to ignore it…”

Robert leant in and kissed him languidly, pulling him closer. 

“I have a confession,” Aaron said as they broke apart.

“Shoot.” The gleam in Aaron’s eyes was dangerous Robert knew, but they didn’t hide things from each other - not anymore.

“Ed never asked me to go to France.”

“What?” Robert yelled, a grin on his face.

“Adam must’ve made it up, he never asked me and I had no idea what you were on about when you came to mine. I told Ed to leave the night I kissed you because I couldn’t get you out of my head and I haven’t spoken to him since.”

Robert laughed with incredulity and Aaron gave him a cheeky shrug. 

“Not that I mind, it made you see sense didn’t it?” 

Robert smiled at that and looked Aaron deep in the eyes. 

“Yeah, it did.”

He leant in and kissed him, the movie entirely forgotten.

 

When Thursday came around Aaron gave Robert the idea of playing with Adam and Vic as they had done with him. The only communication they had had since Saturday was a vague text from Robert telling them he was fine, and Adam calling Aaron for a chat but Aaron had never answered. They arrived separately (meaning they drove there together but Robert waited 10 minutes in the car before going up) and had agreed to act as if they weren’t together. 

Robert knocked on the door, and Vic opened it almost immediately. Inside he found Aaron sitting at the dining table, and Vic steered Robert over to sit in the empty seat next to him. 

“Right, if you two haven’t sorted this on your own I’m going to have to do it for you,” she started. Adam was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, a smug smile on his face. 

“Robert, Aaron has been in love with you for years and years and I know that because he always gets this doe-eyed look on his face when you’re around,” she said, and Adam sniggered in the background. “Aaron, Robert’s a pillock and even if he doesn’t know it, he is madly in love with you. Now can you two please just sort this out so I don’t have to do absolutely everything for you?” 

Robert could hear Aaron stifling a laugh next to him and he couldn’t keep it in any longer; he burst out laughing. 

“What?” Vic insisted, which only made Robert laugh more. When he finally calmed down a bit, he leant over and planted a messy kiss on Aaron’s lips, making Adam groan and Vic squeal. As soon as they broke apart, Vic hit the both of them on the shoulder.

“What was that for?” she asked, and Aaron laughed.

“You messed with us, so we wanted to mess with you!” 

She looked incredulous, feigning ignorance. 

“Come off it Vic, I think they know by now,” Adam conceded, and Vic huffed.

“Fine, but I still hate you for lying, I’ve been worried sick since Thursday.”

“You mess with us and we mess with you,” Robert joked, and he felt Aaron grab his hand and intertwine their fingers. Their eyes met and they simply smiled at each other, happiness coursing through both of them.

“Soft lads,” Adam joked, and Vic threw a tea-towel at him.

“Yeah, I’m just excited to hear how dinner goes on Saturday at our parents’!”

Aaron’s face turned sour, his eyes wide. Robert had completely forgotten the promise he had made to Jack and Sarah weeks ago to have Aaron over for dinner, that they had agreed on this Saturday. 

“Guess we have plans on Saturday now.”

  
  


Robert stood in front of his mirror, his eyes resolute and hard, staring at himself. His grey jumper brought out the gold in his complexion, a crisp white shirt underneath and jeans to finish; he usually felt calm when wearing such well-tailored armour, but at the prospect of the evening to come he felt more exposed than ever.

He felt rather than saw Aaron wrap his arms around his middle, tugging him in a hug and placing his chin on Robert’s shoulder, insofar as he could reach. 

Robert had found that Aaron’s arms had the uncanny ability to calm him, ground him, as well as entice and excite him; the contradiction was thrilling, just another aspect of being with Aaron.

“You can do this Robert,” he said quietly, and Robert saw himself nod meekly. 

“I hate this,” Robert admitted. Aaron gave him a squeeze and pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

“I know, but they already love me, so that won’t be a problem.” Robert could practically hear the smile on Aaron’s lips as he spoke.

“It’s what they think of me that worries me.”

“Robert, there is no reason why you should be worried, you’re amazing. If they can’t see that then they’re mad, alright?”

Robert swallowed hard and nodded, fear etched in his expression. The words didn’t sink in; he guessed they never would. Self-worth had never been his strong suit.

“You are fiercely loyal, and extremely generous to the people that really matter to you,” Aaron began, making Robert’s breath hitch. “You care, and show it by bringing coffee or sending a quick text in the morning. You’re smart, and ruthless when you need to be, but with me you’re a big softie. You helped me with one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through, you were there for me at all hours of the day…” Aaron trailed off, shaking his head. “I don’t need to justify it to you, I just needed to tell you why I love you so maybe one day you can see yourself as I see you; as the brilliant man I love.”

Robert had stared at himself while Aaron spoke, saw the tears form in his eyes as he stood in front of the mirror, and he took a shaky breath before moving his eyes to meet Aaron’s in the mirror.

“Thank you,” Robert whispered and Aaron gave him a warm smile.

“You’re welcome,” he whispered before pulling away. “Now, you look great, I look great, your Mum’s cooking, so let’s get to it yeah?” 

Robert nodded, and took his boyfriend’s hand as they walked out to the car.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my lovely beta, beautifulhigh on tumblr
> 
> I could not have written this without the support of all my lovely people on tumblr <3 thank you guys so much  
> All kudos and comments are appreciated, come and find me on tumblr: escapingreality51


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